Camcemtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unthinking slug.

Camcemtarp created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Camcemtarp, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Camcemtarp, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Camcemtarp's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Camcemtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four otters approach from the west.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Camcemtarp in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never sing in the presence of frogs.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Respect your elders.