Tailfemgat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, charitable dugong.

Tailfemgat created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Tailfemgat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tailfemgat, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tailfemgat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tailfemgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.