Fosslat Zanhunjon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, egotistical turtle.

Fosslat Zanhunjon created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fosslat Zanhunjon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fosslat Zanhunjon, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Fosslat Zanhunjon's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fosslat Zanhunjon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never mention porpoises.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Erect four copper sculptures of Fosslat Zanhunjon on top of important buildings.

5. Never play with disobedient children.