Cusshambest is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, contented human.

Cusshambest created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Cusshambest, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cusshambest, she will have a low opinion of you.

Cusshambest's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cusshambest's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. You must pray to Cusshambest eight times a day.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.