Joprakqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful salamander.

Joprakqueeg created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Joprakqueeg, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Joprakqueeg, he will strike you with lightening.

Joprakqueeg's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Joprakqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near squirrels.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Put Joprakqueeg first in all things.

4. You must love Joprakqueeg.

5. Never talk about comets.