Flamominsasnig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, two-faced octopus.

Flamominsasnig created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamominsasnig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamominsasnig, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Flamominsasnig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Flamominsasnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help sick ants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.