Narsaffartik is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, emotional donkey.

Narsaffartik created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Narsaffartik, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Narsaffartik, she will turn you into a rock.

Narsaffartik's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Narsaffartik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near goats while wearing blue shorts.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.