Ominstergofminjop is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic crab.

Ominstergofminjop created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominstergofminjop, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ominstergofminjop, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Ominstergofminjop's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Ominstergofminjop's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near sheep while wearing blue corsets.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Erect six zinc sculptures of Ominstergofminjop on top of important buildings.