Gemcatgud is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, uncaring lobster.

Gemcatgud created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemcatgud, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemcatgud, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gemcatgud's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gemcatgud's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never bounce near mites.

4. Hide from gray nematodes for they are unholy.

5. Put Gemcatgud first in all things.