Wipmifvon is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omnipotent spider.

Wipmifvon created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Wipmifvon, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wipmifvon, she will strike you with lightening.

Wipmifvon's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wipmifvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick gulls.

2. Never feed garlic to rats while wearing stockings.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Never pour water over plants.