Paskim is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, smart lobster.

Paskim created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paskim, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Paskim, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Paskim's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Paskim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of turnips to horses while wearing blue stockings.

2. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

5. Always take life seriously.