Bestfadxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, idiotic pig.

Bestfadxuck created water three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestfadxuck, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bestfadxuck, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bestfadxuck's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bestfadxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Always look after injured snails.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never wear gray rings.