Kamgupbog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unfair shrew.

Kamgupbog created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamgupbog, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kamgupbog, it will turn you into a rat.

Kamgupbog's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Kamgupbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Hide from black ants for they are unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

5. Do not eat grapes.