Libfigwee is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tiresome guinea pig.

Libfigwee created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Libfigwee, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Libfigwee, he will turn you into a duck.

Libfigwee's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Libfigwee's Holy Commandments

1. Libfigwee must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Never fashion tools from wood.