Vidpibhamnurtjinsawik is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest skunk.

Vidpibhamnurtjinsawik created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidpibhamnurtjinsawik, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vidpibhamnurtjinsawik, he will remove you from existence.

Vidpibhamnurtjinsawik's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Vidpibhamnurtjinsawik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always help sick mites.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.