Yarpmiglinvegmutartcanton is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic squirrel.

Yarpmiglinvegmutartcanton created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmiglinvegmutartcanton, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarpmiglinvegmutartcanton, she will turn you into a hamster.

Yarpmiglinvegmutartcanton's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Yarpmiglinvegmutartcanton's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

2. Always treat dogs with great respect.

3. Never feed bananas to manatees while wearing blue kilts.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.