Shavarpbif is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, ruthless badger.

Shavarpbif created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavarpbif, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Shavarpbif, it will turn you into a snail.

Shavarpbif's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Shavarpbif's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Shavarpbif four times a day.

2. Retreat if three pigs approach from the north.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Run away if six turtles approach from the east.