Mapjigben is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, two-faced scorpion.

Mapjigben created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapjigben, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mapjigben, it will turn you into a sheep.

Mapjigben's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Mapjigben's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Run away from black bats, for they are unholy.