Teenpitdum is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless finch.

Teenpitdum created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenpitdum, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Teenpitdum, it will torture you forever.

Teenpitdum's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Teenpitdum's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Teenpitdum on top of all buildings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Hide from gray manatees for they are unholy.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.