Begzigcep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, duplicitous raccoon.

Begzigcep created oxygen six billion years ago.

If you believe in Begzigcep, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Begzigcep, he will make you grow a tail.

Begzigcep's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Begzigcep's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Begzigcep eight times a day.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not stand on grass.