Fossbenpak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omniscient jackal.

Fossbenpak created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Fossbenpak, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fossbenpak, he will send minions to preach to you.

Fossbenpak's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Fossbenpak's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Fossbenpak five times a day.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing violet shorts and balancing nine copper spheres on your face.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never hurt voles.