Ratfedwot is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, prudent spider.

Ratfedwot created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratfedwot, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ratfedwot, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ratfedwot's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Ratfedwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about photosynthesis.

2. Retreat if six moths approach from the east.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

4. Never laugh in the presence of cats.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.