Gigyimbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, overgenerous hamster.

Gigyimbaf created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigyimbaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gigyimbaf, he will turn you into a puffin.

Gigyimbaf's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Gigyimbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never feed lots of nuts to mice while wearing orange hats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Do not hurt dogs.