Nelvigpag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, bad-tempered wren.

Nelvigpag created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Nelvigpag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nelvigpag, it will laugh at you.

Nelvigpag's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nelvigpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near monkeys while wearing magenta skirts and balancing eight silicon spheres on your head.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always help horses.

4. Nelvigpag loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Hide if nine squirrels approach from the west.