Quartwitgam is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, tiresome shark.

Quartwitgam created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartwitgam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quartwitgam, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Quartwitgam's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Quartwitgam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never hurt otters.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.