Bepsiskab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, amazing goblin.

Bepsiskab created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepsiskab, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bepsiskab, she will try to impress you with trees.

Bepsiskab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bepsiskab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Erect three nickel sculptures of Bepsiskab on top of important buildings.

4. Never feed lots of peas to bats while wearing brown kilts.

5. Do not eat corn.