Jopnarjam is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, wise bat.

Jopnarjam created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Jopnarjam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jopnarjam, she will turn you into a rock.

Jopnarjam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Jopnarjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.