Badaffeb is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, merciful goat.

Badaffeb created the solar system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Badaffeb, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Badaffeb, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Badaffeb's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Badaffeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Badaffeb in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

5. Never bounce in the presence of snakes.