Cud is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind tapir.

Cud created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cud, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cud, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cud's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Cud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near squirrels while wearing blue trousers and balancing three zinc spheres on your hands.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cud.

5. Run away if six cats approach from the west.