Betmobtenpin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, proud mink.

Betmobtenpin created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betmobtenpin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Betmobtenpin, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Betmobtenpin's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Betmobtenpin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Betmobtenpin.

2. Do not take Betmobtenpin's name in vain.

3. Erect seven iron sculptures of Betmobtenpin on top of important buildings.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never write about bacteria.