Gepxuckpak is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced dingo.

Gepxuckpak created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepxuckpak, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepxuckpak, she will boil you in a big pot.

Gepxuckpak's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Gepxuckpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gepxuckpak.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near badgers while wearing green shorts and balancing six carbon spheres on your hands.