Pigfasyim Yattdaploop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, temperamental coyote.

Pigfasyim Yattdaploop created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigfasyim Yattdaploop, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pigfasyim Yattdaploop, he will make you grow a tail.

Pigfasyim Yattdaploop's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Pigfasyim Yattdaploop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

5. Respect your elders.