Quafstipqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, annoying naga.

Quafstipqueeg created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafstipqueeg, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quafstipqueeg, it will turn you into a puffin.

Quafstipqueeg's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Quafstipqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

2. Quafstipqueeg loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quafstipqueeg.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not keep three squirrels in a large pit.