Bepfumsig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy armadillo.

Bepfumsig created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepfumsig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bepfumsig, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bepfumsig's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bepfumsig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bepfumsig.

4. Do not hurt tortoises.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing gray ear rings.