Habstaftap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered troll.

Habstaftap created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habstaftap, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Habstaftap, it will turn you into a slug.

Habstaftap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Habstaftap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Habstaftap.