Tapstipgom Madfumgov is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthinking owl.

Tapstipgom Madfumgov created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapstipgom Madfumgov, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tapstipgom Madfumgov, it will torture you forever.

Tapstipgom Madfumgov's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tapstipgom Madfumgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always help sick monkeys.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Run away from indigo great tits, for they are unholy.