Wonquamarn is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, grumpy rat.

Wonquamarn created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonquamarn, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wonquamarn, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wonquamarn's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Wonquamarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Retreat if six whales approach from the east.

3. Hide if eight rats approach from the south.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

5. Never hurt doves.