Labgomrut is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, competent aardvark.

Labgomrut created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labgomrut, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Labgomrut, it will not care at all.

Labgomrut's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Labgomrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick pigs.

2. Always treat whales with great respect.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.