Zenflatbodmutbasscabjop is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, charitable raven.

Zenflatbodmutbasscabjop created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenflatbodmutbasscabjop, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zenflatbodmutbasscabjop, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Zenflatbodmutbasscabjop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Zenflatbodmutbasscabjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Never think about optics.

5. Feed all hungry bats.