Dadnul Jabflatfem is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, sapient hamster.

Dadnul Jabflatfem created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadnul Jabflatfem, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dadnul Jabflatfem, he will turn you into a plant.

Dadnul Jabflatfem's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Dadnul Jabflatfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Dadnul Jabflatfem on top of important buildings.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dadnul Jabflatfem.