Tapnurlquam is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, flying camel.

Tapnurlquam created a charm quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tapnurlquam, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tapnurlquam, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tapnurlquam's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Tapnurlquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured seals.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Tapnurlquam loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Never think about special relativity near bats while wearing mauve kilts and balancing six aluminium spheres on your face.