Flatvinbin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, slow gnu.

Flatvinbin created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatvinbin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatvinbin, he will manifest in front of you.

Flatvinbin's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Flatvinbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never write about ultrasonics.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.