Queegarnnellfobnuttenbotlab is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, emotional swallow.

Queegarnnellfobnuttenbotlab created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegarnnellfobnuttenbotlab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Queegarnnellfobnuttenbotlab, she will torture you forever.

Queegarnnellfobnuttenbotlab's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Queegarnnellfobnuttenbotlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mice.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near porpoises while wearing purple shirts and balancing three iron spheres on your hands.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Queegarnnellfobnuttenbotlab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Queegarnnellfobnuttenbotlab loves cats, so they must be respected.