Sidvogbess Met is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sapient mole.

Sidvogbess Met created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidvogbess Met, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sidvogbess Met, she will curse you with boils.

Sidvogbess Met's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Sidvogbess Met's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

2. Always help sick otters.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never feed nuts to eagles while wearing corsets.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.