Cepnadsak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, awesome faun.

Cepnadsak created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepnadsak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cepnadsak, she will send minions to preach to you.

Cepnadsak's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Cepnadsak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange otters for they are unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Cepnadsak loves snakes, so they must be respected.