Cunstafkantap is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, idiotic coyote.

Cunstafkantap created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunstafkantap, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cunstafkantap, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Cunstafkantap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Cunstafkantap's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat nuts.

2. Run away from brown nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Run away if seven moths approach from the south.

4. Do not kill pigs.

5. Always help sick capybaras.