Fidfadarp is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, slow human.

Fidfadarp created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidfadarp, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fidfadarp, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fidfadarp's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fidfadarp's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fidfadarp first in all things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never feed lots of peanuts to birds while wearing black hats.

4. Never paint your feet magenta.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.