Catquatweg is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, generous skunk.

Catquatweg created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Catquatweg, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Catquatweg, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Catquatweg's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Catquatweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

3. Never hurt doves.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Catquatweg on top of all buildings.