Tadkamkenjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, blissful squid.

Tadkamkenjarn created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadkamkenjarn, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tadkamkenjarn, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Tadkamkenjarn's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tadkamkenjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Tadkamkenjarn must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tadkamkenjarn.

3. Hide if three seals approach from the west.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Never write about quantum mechanics.