Yarplopflam is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, caring fish.

Yarplopflam created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yarplopflam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarplopflam, she will remove you from existence.

Yarplopflam's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yarplopflam's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always help gulls.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about dark energy near voles while wearing orange scarves.